Detachment, Grief, and Work
The co-worker who you avoid, for good reasons, says the thing you knew they’d say and all you can think when you are in the bathroom holding back tears is, “something is just, off.” You are left with no other option but to shut down, inside and out.
Detachment can seem like the only option — and that is not a bad thing at all. There are Zones of Detachment: Stuck, Ally, and Metamorphosis, and they all sound a certain way inside and out.
Detachment in the Stuck Zone sounds like:
- “My relationships with close friends and family are not the same.”
- “I avoid having to make any decisions, big or small by deflecting or postponing.”
- “There’s nothing ordinary about my life now: I want to go back to what I know.”
Knowing what being stuck in a detached zone sounds like lets you know when it is needed to become unstuck. When the sense of being overwhelmed is present, it means it is time to prepare to cope with what is going on. Being stuck in detachment is a signal to act, even if you don’t feel like you have the capacity to do so.
Detachment in the Ally Zone sounds like this:
- “I need to find a bubble to hide in. This is different from being numb or distracted. Distraction seems an external response to what I don’t want to…
