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Grief and Fathers
When a father loses a child, and when a child loses a father.
It is never easy to lose a parent. It’s out of one’s imagination that their child will die before them. When you lose a father and when you lose a child, you lose a sense of self. Who am I without my father? Who am I without my child? I am still a parent to that child, yet the active role is not there. It’s been stolen. In both instances, there is a sense of being orphaned.
Across all ages, when the father is alive, we are still actively his child, regardless of what age we are. The role of the patriarch is a powerful one. Collectively, and archetypically, we have all had a father, or a father figure, whether we knew him or not. The role your father played in your life affects how you grieve and how you live.
The role your father played is different than the role you may have needed or expected. If your father was loving and modeled behavior that you wanted to reflect in your own life, you got a personal gift. Yet, if he could not be the father you needed him to be, lacking integrity or purpose or simply not being there, either in spirit or in body, then the magnitude of this loss can be even greater.
Survival Tools for Grieving Your Father
1. Plan for the day. Even if you believe that the day will not have an impact on you, don’t risk it. Reach out…
