It Hurts My Heart When…It All Hurts My Heart
By Edy Nathan
We need a language of compassion, of tenacity, of bravery — of calling out the truth, of understanding. We all walk with different masks, and we all face the moment when we leave what we know, in the hope of achieving something better or bigger. Some of us make it, some of us don’t, and some of us never know they can try.
It hurts my heart that I can take care of a homeless woman on the streets of NY and when I have no way of knowing if she is dead or alive. My heart hurts when people have their blinders on and don’t care to see what is in front of them — their kids in pain, their loved one needing attention, or a pat on the back, their dog needing to go to the vet.
It hurts my heart that we can be so cruel to one another. That a, “no” can hurt so bad that it takes your hope away, because you don’t have enough of the self to bolster you up. This means that somewhere along the way, abandonment happened, or chastisement occurred, or loving parents could not or would not show up.
It breaks my heart to think that our world is being destroyed by pollution, by our planet overheating, and we don’t know the truth about COVID 19- and it makes the internal grief louder and harder to bare.
It breaks my heart to see pain, to see someone fall and lose their teeth, and no one helps them off the street. It breaks my heart that we often face death without a soul by our sides. It hurts my heart to have lost the art of language and feeling another’s energy because we are feeling them by our sides, and we are gazing into their eyes, and we feel them and we feel ourselves falling in love.
It hurts my heart that women are raped, by strangers, by husbands, and that boys and men and girls were abused by religious figures from all religious backgrounds. It breaks my heart how alone so many people feel. It breaks my heart that I know the pain of abuse, and the pain of cruelty and bullying and losing a loved one- over and over again- as their memory passes through my heart, in the stories I tell, in the dreams I dream in the darkness of the night.
It breaks my heart to be inside, without being able to help others. It breaks my heart how often we think all is ok, when it’s not, or to say “I’m fine” is really code for “I’m breaking inside.”
It breaks my heart to hear the war stories of poverty and hunger, the fellow men and women and children who cry to be heard and fed.
It breaks my heart to understand the darkness of this cave, is sometimes silent, sometimes overbearing, and sometimes filled with an unseen love. It breaks my heart, knowing how much love we have in the world, and we can’t seem to honor its power. I’m ready for my heart to no longer be broken, yet to be alive with wonder, curiosity, health and love, and love in spontaneity! I’m ready, are you?
For these tough times I am offering a free chapter from my book, "It's Grief: The Dance of self-Discovery Through Trauma and Loss"
Just send a request to: ItsGriefFreeChapter@gmail.com
In Print:
It’s Grief: The Dance of Self-Discovery Through Trauma and Loss
