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My Phases of Grief
Phase Two — Role Confusion
“Every day, just like me, grief puts on a new face.” – Charlie Doherty
Throughout life, we craft and develop many roles — child, friend, student, partner and others. Consider these roles as an accumulation of masks that comprise the identity of the self. These roles shift over time. Some masks will be cast off. New roles will take their place. The self is ever changing with the masks we wear. They are the faces we present to the world. The decision to be in a partnership, to be a parent, to become a professional, to be a spouse, they frame who we are.
Grief can show up unexpectedly like a catastrophic storm. Even when grief is anticipated, it can feel surreal. You are facing something for which there is no immediate resolution. The roles you played prior to this storm of grief may no longer fit your life. And not having them will have an impact every aspect of your being. Internally you are confused, lost, isolated perhaps even desperate.
The Question
“What am I now? What am I now? What if I’m someone I don’t want around?” — Harry Styles, Falling
Who am I? If the loss involved the death of a parent, and it was your last parent, it may feel as though you are orphaned. If you are divorced from your partner, the question arises, “Who…
