Unexpected Ally, Grief: COVID Conversations
Unexpected Ally’s come in many different forms. Today, the ally can be found through a chosen self-honesty, integrity and the necessary conversations on COVID the fear demands. Too often hard conversations don’t happen. We are enduring a time when uncomfortable conversations are happening at home, at work, and between friends. Some of the conversations may only be in your head, never to be spoken. Is this you?
Thinking about those types of conversations, the difficult ones, the ones we’d rather not have or frankly, don’t know how to navigate, I thought I’d share a potential conversation between two people. Can you imagine being in this type of conversation? Are you feeling or experiencing any of the narratives described?
A Potential Conversation
Person 1: “I’m looking to create a safe pod of folks I can trust. Like, COVID trust. When I think of a pod, it consists of a group of like-minded folks who choose to be cautious during this time. You know, wearing masks, socially distancing, refraining from big parties or travel. This isolation is a kicker. And ya know, we’re not meant to be alone. Been wondering if you’re interested in exploring the creation of a safe pod? Are you interested in joining this idea of a safe pod? If it’s a possibility, could you answer a few questions? I don’t mean to be rude, yet right now I’m unlike the person I used to be as I’ve gotten rather prudish around cleanliness, I find obsessive thinking to be closer to me than I ever imagined, especially when thinking about where the virus is lurking, it feels like we still have so little information. I miss people, even though I’m a mix between being an extrovert and introvert. I want to protect myself and my family.
Person 2: OK- I get it. Not sure about this. It seems like your questions will define it for me. This is weird.
Person 1: Yes. it is weird. These are weird times. My anxiety is higher than normal. So, here goes. And if anything I ask is too personal, don’t answer. I won’t take it personally.
Did you get tested for COVID? If so, what did you learn? What are your thoughts about attending public gatherings? When you venture out into the streets is the face mask part of your outfit? What are your thoughts about the quarantine? Have you let your kids or family members bring their friends into your living space? If so, was it important for you to have them wear a mask? When I was tested, the test was negative. I want to keep it that way. Would you be willing to get the test if you haven’t already done so?
You see, I don’t want to get sick, yet, the thought of staying away from socialization makes me feel a bit emotionally queasy. The grief and isolation are more than overwhelming, they are stealing some part of my ability to center myself, so much so, I feel lost at times or it seems I can’t find the right words to describe exactly what’s going on inside of me and its happening at work, too. Some people call it the COVID fog, I’ll show you the article.
Person 2: I don’t want to get sick either, I’ recently lost a close friend and part of me just wants to pretend this is a bad dream, and I like the idea of a creation of a friendship/family pod. Tell me more about what you envision.
Person 1: I like how you framed it, a family/friendship pod. With the world feeling unsafe, I never thought it would feel unsafe in my hometown. Creating a safe place with people I like and trust, as much as I’m trusting right now. Creating a shared agreement of how we will interact or socialize. For example, if you or I have been exposed to a large group of people, we let the people in the pod know.
You see, I’m scared. I can’t really define it. I’m angry, too. Scared of what I don’t know — scared to send my almost-adult kid to college, scared to be scarred by this. Not seeing any ally in this. Unless I can find my safe pod… yeah the pod of folks who, like me, will use precautions. Will be as careful as they can be to prevent infection. They commit to washing their hands, they promise, albeit silently, to be diligent about who they are in contact with and they know we have each other in mind should contact be made. The Ally? Perhaps a reigniting of old friendships, or a resurgence of a relationship with trust and recognition of who is worth being vulnerable to and with.
I’m scared, and perhaps part of the pod partnership is sharing the fear, the growth and the intense vulnerability being in step with the POD requires.
Have you had this conversation? Even in your mind? If so, who were your first person go to’s in your mind? Let me know!
