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VALENTINE’S DAY REFLECTIONS
When I was in grade school, every Valentine’s Day, we were told to give each of our classmates a valentine. A card with a heart, some had glitter most did not, some came with a candy, but not a lot. Each kid would bring a bag filled with cards in personalized envelopes addressed to each student. Sometimes, the card had no inscription, that was a relief to me. Sadly some contained unpleasant messages that gave me an early taste of childhood cruelty.
Everyone in the class appeared to be elated by the cards they’d received. I was less than elated, but had to act as if everything was wonderful and exciting. I pretended that each card held some endearing sentiment. It was painful and exhausting… and that is when my acting career began.
As an Actor, I got even deeper into the role of the outsider looking in. I escaped into my own tunnel of love, filled with the joy of fantasy and illusion. While everyone else was playing the role of a love hero, I had the archetypal trickster by my side, filled with schemes and jokes; but also merits and virtues. I dug deep into the role archetypes play in our lives during times of grief. I became the epitome of a true outlier. Going into observation mode kept me partially safe from the pain that seared my heart as I watched the card exchange. Watching others hug each other was a further indication that Valentine’s day was not my holiday…
